Monday, September 06, 2010

Revealed: Slow Motion Device Slows Competing Websites, Drives Visitors Away

Bad things happen when Web sites load slowly.

Research scientists at Customer Chaos Labs have identified a way to significantly reduce the effectiveness of any of your competitors’ Web sites.

Slow their load times.

Don’t be fooled. You may think that, since most people have high-speed broadband connections that all pages load quickly enough.

It’s not true.

The CCLabs Slow Motion Emitter

Drawing shows  how Slow Motion Emitter slows website load times.

Don’t believe that your visitors are going to wait a few seconds for your site to load.

They won’t.

The Success of the Slow Motion Emitter

Customer Chaos Labs has been utilizing our top secret Slow Motion Emitter on behalf of our clients to slow their competitors’ sites. The results are tremendous:

  • A large number of visitors never view a second page of competitors sites. We say that the visitor “bounced.”
  • Visitors viewed fewer pages per visit (Average Pages per Visit). This means that they didn’t see much of the information on competitor sites.
  • Visitors spent less time on competitor sites, reducing the odds that they will purchase, sign up, or share socially.

Why are we revealing this now?

Unfortunately, the do-gooders at Conversion Sciences have revealed our technology to the public. While they have found a defense, they cannot know the locations of all of our emitters.

We believe that their story illustrates the effectiveness of the technology. The fools make the case for us.

You can’t buy PR like that.

You can still benefit

If you would like to ensure that your competitors’ hosting providers are targeted by a Slow Motion Emitter, we can help. Naturally, we are very selective about our clients.

To request more information, please complete the following form:

YES! I want to know more about the devious plans Customer Chaos Labs has for the Internet and the Web!

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